Farewell Apartment..and Hello House!

I’d often day-dreamed about raising a family in the suburbs. The frequency of daydreams increased during the first 12 months of Ethan’s life, as I battled the three flights of stairs and drying my laundry on the balcony, whilst trying to entertain a curious toddler in the confines of an 8 x 10m lounge room. By the time Ethan had turned one, my browsing the pages of domain had become serious and before we knew it, we were the successful bidders at an auction for a 4-bedroom townhouse in Sydney’s inner-west suburb of Croydon.

We bid farewell to our apartment in February and set off for our new adventure in the suburbs. I’d organised the move with the precision of a seasoned professional, from utilities connections right down to furniture placement on the floor plan, using my own models I had cut out to scale. We had unpacked 95% of boxes within the first week and after an initial unsettled few nights, Ethan was starting to adjust to his new surroundings. Ah, now to settle in and become one of the locals, a real suburban mum…

I didn’t plan for everything, it would seem.

Gardening

At the conclusion of the auction, one of our priorities was procuring a mower for our new expanse of lawn.

Jack pot! This is all we would need to perfect our own back yard.

Surprisingly, there are other pieces of equipment one also requires to maintain one’s property including:

• Clippers to trim the hedge
• Garden Hose
• Citris feed for the flailing lemon tree out back
• Weed killer to tame the tufts appearing between the pavers; and
• A whipper-snipper for the edges

- just to name a few. I suspect we will need a few more visits to Bunnings than was originally anticipated.

Privacy

Being on the top floor of an apartment affords you a decent amount of privacy and so, despite living on a main road, Cam and I never had to concern ourselves with peeping toms or burglars (unless they were talented, rock-climbing ones).

Our lounge room in the townhouse has a large bay window that faces the communal driveway and upon our arrival, whilst dressed with heavy curtains for nighttime, was missing lace curtains for added privacy during the day/dusk. I didn’t think much of this until one evening when I was chillaxing on the couch watching tv and wearing my slippers and PJ’s, a neighbour arriving home from work peered in and waved…we visited Lincraft the next day.

Before...

and after!

Creepy Crawlies

I conceded some time ago that cockroaches and city-life go hand in hand. Despite this acknowledgement, we rarely saw a roach or other crawling creature during our tenure in the East, due partly to my obsession with insect spray but largely to the fact we lived so high up – I firmly believe they just couldn’t be bothered. Not so, it would seem, in a two-story townhouse.

One evening, shortly after our arrival, I was nestled in bed, drifting off to sleep, when I felt something odd in my hair. I have been known to hallucinate bugs before but despite this, brushed away the imaginary creature and flicked on the bedside light, just to be sure. A large cockroach ambled across my pillow and onto the floor. After deploying Cam to exterminate the beast, I went into overdrive with the roach spray and bates. Within that same week, I had two additional roaches visit (what? The spray wasn’t working??!) however they seem to have abated for now. Perhaps they are regrouping and planning a revenge attack for next summer.

The scene of the crime...

Despite these unplanned setbacks, we are very happy with our new home and chosen suburb. I am learning to let go and take things as they come, admitting that you can’t plan for everything.

But I will add these things to my moving GANTT chart for next time, just in case.

An Apartment Bub in the Suburbs

It has been a while between blog posts – 8 months to be exact. I could point my finger at the return to work and constant juggle between motherhood and office life however, truth be told, I’ve had writer’s block. You see, we have left our apartment in Sydney’s East and have now set up home in the sprawling suburbs of Sydney’s inner west.

What could I possibly write about? The purpose of my blog was to share the trials and tribulations of raising a child within the confines of apartment walls and we had done the unforeseeable and actually managed to acquire a house within 10km’s of the CBD. And so I began to ponder alternatives:

• Change the focus of entries to be about my return to work, work-life balance (haha!!) and living the corporate high-life (GFC anyone?);
• Do some soul-searching and host forums on hot topics such as daycare centres vs family daycare or fulltime work vs. part time work;
• Write about the lives of my mum friends still in the East and document their trials and tribulations about raising a bub in an apartment…

Amidst all of this consideration, I had been busily setting up home and adapting to our new suburban lifestyle, when one day, whilst I was cursing the remote control to the garage door, inspiration finally struck. You see, I’d made the assumption that I would settle into the suburbs with ease, given I’d spent my first twenty years amongst it. What I didn’t count on was the recency effect – truth be told, I had become so adept at living my apartment lifestyle, that any trace of my suburban upbringing had been trumped by the past ten years experience. Furthermore, living in the suburbs as a “grown-up” is a much different experience to what you see through the eyes of a child.

So, I have found my focus for blog entries herein – an apartment mum exploring the intricacies of suburban living. Let the journey begin…

Making the most of it

I awoke this morning with the startling realisation that I would be returning to work in two weeks time and thus, ending my maternity leave of 11 months. Overwhelmed with an urge to communicate this fact, I took to my facebook status, alerting my friends of the impending deadline. Several comments returned included the sage advice to 'make the most of it' and accordingly, I thought I'd best use this post to devise a checklist of tasks for the coming two weeks that would aptly allow me to conclude that I had indeed 'made the most of it', come Monday morning, September 5.

1. Catch up on sleep during the day. This has never been something I have frequently enjoyed as Ethan's daytime napping habits have been sketchy at best. There is always the possibility however, that if Ethan has a restless evening the night before, I can always hold out hope for an afternoon kip on the couch. At the very least, I won't have to think or make adult conversation.
   
2. Stroll down to the shops for a meaningless wander and buy another outfit for Ethan. Those who know me well would realise that I am a changed woman - I used to hate shopping. I still don't enjoy shopping for myself but consider that I have developed a flare for sourcing boys clothing, sizes 00 -1.
3. Attend a free parenting seminar. The Royal Hospital for Women and the Early Childhood Centre has an age limit of 6 months and under however, the local council might have something going.
4. Go for a walk to the park for a swing, whenever the mood strikes us and the weather is appealing.
   
   
   
5. Watch every possible children's program on ABC4kids at least once over the next fortnight.
6. Do the washing on a weekday and hang in the sun.
7. Go for a jog with the stroller around centennial park. No, only kidding! This is what I was supposed to have done whilst on mat leave but it never really eventuated. I hold Ethan to account here - he cries whenever we go around the park for more than 15 mins at a time (and no, I can't complete a full loop of the park in under 15 mins).I did join a mums fitness group for all of one morning back in March but it required me leaving Ethan in his pram for an hour whilst I ran up and down stairs and did endless crunches. Ethan cried and so did I.
   
   
   
8. Go to Bondi Junction Westfields and do some celebrity spotting on a Friday afternoon. So far, we have only spotted Stevie Jacobs but that makes our total 100% successful!
9. Do coffee with other mum friends.
10. Have a day devoted entirely to the beauty of pyjama or tracksuit pant wearing.
11. Prepare a roast for dinner.
12. Spend the morning or afternoon playing down on the sand at Coogee Beach.
    
13. Enjoy taking the opportunity to finalise the Spring Clean that Cam and I initiated last weekend. De-cluttering is good for the soul!
14. Prepare a thorough budget with the commitment to diligently update and review weekly upon return to work, to appropriately track finances. Include a tricky excel formula or two, just to brush up on rusty skills.
15. Take work clothes out of boxes that I hastily shoved them into last April (when things stopped fitting), wash, iron and hang in cupboard according to definition of trouser, skirt, shirt and jacket.

A pretty comprehensive list, right? Surely if I can complete each of the above activities, I could rest assured that I was making the most of my time before commencing a certain chaos of a daily routine?

Alternatively, I could disregard the above and focus on this one item:

1. Stare at Ethan for copious amounts during the day and shower him with kisses, cuddles and tickles, before he begins his own adventure away from mummy and daddy, at childcare.

And whilst doing that, take the opportunity to thank God for the blessing of our beautiful little boy and wonder, where on earth has the time gone?

Our First Family Holiday

Change of scenery needed? Check.

Mummy and daddy in need of serious relaxation? Check.

Wine supply low? Check.

Time for our first family holiday to the Hunter Valley!

Last week, we threw caution to the wind and bundled into the family Mazda for a fleeting trip up North to take in the best that wine country has to offer. Well, Cam would…strictly no wine tasting for me during working hours (i.e. 7 am – 7 pm).

To say I was nervous about our expedition would be an understatement. We’d only just recently implemented a sleeping routine for Ethan and now that he had finally gotten the hang of it, were we risking it all by changing location and trying to take a break? Time would tell…

Being the project manager that I am, I made a list of what to pack and when to pack it, including a nifty ‘check’ column. The thing about making a list though, is that you actually need to read it. And check it off. More on this shortly.

Prior to leaving, we made the big decision to turn Ethan’s car seat around from the rear-facing position. We’d delayed for some months, with recommendations to maintain the rear-facing for as long as possible, however, Ethan's size meant he was getting rather cramped and justifiably cranky with the backwards view of the world, so what better time to try a new direction than on this momentous occasion?! Ethan’s excitement was evident – big smiles as Cam pulled out of the driveway. We were off to a great start!

"So this is what I have been missing out on!" Ethan is ready for the two hour car trip, Lion blankie in hand.

Packing Oversight #1

In an effort to minimize space, I chose not to pack Ethan’s bowls, rather just bought along some sippy cups and spoons. As I ferreted around in the kitchenette however, I discovered that the smallest bowl was the size of a large dinner plate and thus, attempted to serve Ethan’s pureed dinner on a small plate. Note to self: it is very tricky to collect all the food with a baby spoon, off a plate.

After Ethan had devoured his dinner, it was time to prepare for bed. Sticking as closely as possible to the bedtime routine from home, his bath was followed by a feed, a little bit of ‘In the Nightgarden’ and then a story…hang on a second….

Packing Oversight #2

On my carefully constructed packing list, at the top of the column headed ‘toys’, was the all-important item of ‘books’. How had we missed that one? Cam, ever calm and collected, quoted Tom Selleck “It’s not what you read, it’s the tone you use”. Hence, Ethan’s first bedtime story in the Hunter Valley was the Tea Tree Spa brochure (subsequent stories would include such classics as ‘the children’s Menu’ and ‘Facilities and emergency numbers’.

By this time, my positive veneer was all but gone. Thank goodness for room service, a glass of Shiraz and some Bradley Cooper (on TV…not as part of the room service, unfortunately).

As the sun streamed in through the windows the next morning and I realized Ethan had slept for the majority of the night, I rose with an attitude of a glass half full (of a non-alcoholic beverage, of course).

I woke to find Ethan perpendicular in his cot..and surprisingly ok with it!

Meanwhile, Ethan was also having a great time exploring our 2-bedroom villa. So much room! So many things to crawl under! I momentarily interrupted the intrepid explorer to put him in his play clothes for a day of wine tasting.

Despite the huge living room, Ethan sought out his own little spot underneath the chair.

Packing Oversight #3

No spare socks for Ethan. Thank goodness he isn’t walking in mud yet and that, the day before, he neglected to chew on this sole pair. Moving right along.

I took an hour out in the morning to enjoy a relaxing massage before jumping back into the car to visit some estates. Three wineries and several cases of wine in the boot later and we found ourselves ready to enjoy a late lunch.

First Stop, Audrey Wilkinson.

Packing Oversight #4

I also neglected to pack a travel food container, should we choose to dine away from our holiday room and its dinner-plate sized bowls. Fortunately, I met a mum in a parent’s room recently and observed her squeezing the Organic Bub’s food from the squeezie pouch directly onto a spoon, so knew what to do in such a bowl-less situation. Crisis over.

Ethan and Grandpa at lunch.

Ethan was rather irritable by this time – possibly bored by the in and out of the car routine that comes with such a day, particularly given there was not much for him to do other than bounce on the bars and crawl the cellar floors. With Ethan down for a nap and Cam now enjoying his massage, I found myself alone and in silence. Without a book or an episode of Dawson’s Creek to enjoy. All Words with Friend’s games up to date. Limited signal to check facebook or my email and see what my friends back in Sydney were up to. This relaxing thing is a forgotten art it would seem!!

"Mummy, you need to learn to chillax...like Daddy and me".

Our holiday drew to a close and the next morning we were heading out of the Hunter as several cars were heading in – buck’s weekends, business conferences. As Ethan drifted off in the car, I concluded that this first Family Holiday – albeit short – was a successful one and perhaps now, I can contemplate planning a stay of more than two nights for our next family getaway.

Just so long as next time, I actually read my packing checklist.

"Hi Mummy! I think I shall adopt this sleeping position from now on..."

Yay for holidays!

Daddy and Ethan at breakfast.

Holidaying is hard work.

The Intrepid Explorer

"Look out world! Here I come..."

Houston, we have a crawler.

It all started innocently enough – a shuffle here, a roll there. Then suddenly, my little boy turned 7 months old and within the same day was on the move! I was excited for Ethan as I could see the sense of adventure in his eyes, a whole new world awaiting his little fingertips. And of course, I had sufficiently childproofed our apartment to allow safe travels for a curious baby…or so I thought.

Childproofing principles I suspect are, in large, roughly the same for an apartment as for a house. Cover over powerpoints, block access to certain non-childproofed rooms, make sure toxic substances are out of reach and avoid sharp edges. I began my childproofing project approximately 3 months earlier, by diligently attending an information seminar on this very topic at the local women’s hospital. I returned from the seminar armed with clear childproofing ideas but foolishly believing I had ample months ahead of me to execute them.

Once Ethan began his crawling in earnest, I suddenly realised just how unprepared I was. And Ethan was more than happy to highlight my flawed implementation. We shall refer to a particular incident as ‘Wake-up call Wednesday’ – I left Ethan playing in the middle of the room with his toys and quickly popped into the bedroom for a jumper. I returned no more than 20 seconds later only to find Ethan had crawled across the room and was curiously examining the column heater (previously referred to in this blog). Thank goodness it was off and cool to touch…but my heart sank and my childproofing campaign went into overdrive.

Scrambling about our apartment, I attempted to view the world through the eyes of a curious crawler and took note of sharp edges, dangling electrical cords and head-banging opportunities (NB not the rock and roll variety). Ethan was more than happy to assist me in my survey; I needed only to pop him onto the floor and he would zone in on the most dangerous and what I had thought was well-concealed object in the room. How do they manage that?

Armed with a list of requirements, Cam, Ethan and I set off for the local baby store on Saturday morning, with a priority mission to procure security gates and perhaps a few soft-edged covers for skirting board corners and table legs etc. Childproofing fun fact #1: gates are quite expensive! They are a little fancy, with a swinging door you can walk through, not dissimilar to a pool security gate. Of course, depending on the size of the room, you then add on gate extenders to meet your requirements. And did we want white, grey or charcoal? Hmmm…whatever happened to the wooden gates from my childhood, that you had to practically pole-vault over to escape?

Feeling somewhat disillusioned and fatigued trying to calculate our measured gating requirements, I gave only a cursory glance to the large wall displaying additional baby proofing products. I did observe some interesting safety ideas, most notably, a shield you place at the edge of your stove to prevent things from falling and little hands from reaching.

Thus, we returned home, empty handed but more determined than ever to make our apartment a safe playground for our intrepid explorer. Below are some of my more impressive contraptions:

The playpen wall doubling as a fence – column heater (and washing) securely behind the perimeter

Ethan systematically testing the fence for weaknesses – not dissimilar to the velociraptors in Jurassic Park

Now you see it....

...and now you don't! Am pretty sure Ethan has already clued onto this one though.

An impromptu bay window made out of pillows

A woolly pillow liner to hide the glass cabinet doors

"Seriously mummy...is that the best you can do?" Ethan breaks through the defences

I have lived in our apartment for two and a half years and never noticed this dodgy nail until Ethan pointed it out. Solution pending...

Do note, these are only temporary solutions until I either find better online prices or brave the world of ebay for second hand solutions. Stay tuned for the blog "Childproofing 2: the playpen solution"...

And this is the way we dry the clothes, dry the clothes, dry the clothes...

Having a baby has seen my clothes washing requirements disproportionately increase in comparison to the number of members joining the family. Back in my DINK days, I managed to get by with doing a load maybe once a week – two weeks at a stretch – by cleverly investing in sufficient undergarments and towels etc so as not to necessitate a more frequent requirement for washing.

With the event of Ethan joining our home, I’ve found myself visiting the washing machine every second or third day with mountains of clothing to tend to. I must admit, in an attempt to decrease my washing quota, I’ve recently started examining Ethan’s clothes in earnest at the end of each day to determine whether that amount of drool or carrot on the sleeve means the hoodie really needs to go in his Pooh hamper, or whether I could get another days wear out of it. It is inevitable however – the dirty clothes do need to be tended to and yesterday was one such day.

This brings me to the exciting topic for today – clothes washing in an apartment. Firstly, I would like to note that I am extremely grateful for the internal laundry in our flat. Whilst I live quite close to several commercially operated Laundromats, I appreciate the convenience of doing the washing at any time of the day (or night, as I found in the early days when sleep was elusive after the 4am feed and I felt surprisingly spritely). Hence, the challenge is not in the washing of the dirty laundry, rather, in drying it.

Our block of units does have a section out the back where there are several dubious looking lines and not a lot of sun. Of course, this would involve several trips up and down the stairs, Ethan in tow, and I can’t even imagine how this would practically work (unless I popped Ethan in the washing basket?!).

Ethan in the washing basket doesn't quite work for me.

Instead, I attempt to dry our wet washing within the confines of our apartment, taking advantage of our balcony and some cleverly placed clothes airers. A word on drying your washing in an apartment: the strata by-laws are strict in stating that no washing is to be visible from a person’s balcony. Fortunately, our top floor apartment and high brick balcony wall affords me a discrete space to inconspicuously hang the washing, thus meeting strata’s requirements and my own. Particularly with living on a main road, I certainly wouldn't take an unnecessary risk of my unmentionables flying over the edge and onto the street, nor cam’s fave tracksuit pants, for that matter…

Our airer on the balcony, thankfully not visible from the street. Unlikely that anything is going to be flung over the edge either...

Our balcony tends to get full sun all day during summer but limited rays during winter, restricted more to a burst in the mid to late afternoon. As this is also the time that the air is getting considerably cooler, drying potential is highly unlikely, which I discovered yesterday afternoon, as I eagerly went to un-peg the towels around 4pm only to be bitterly disappointed with the result.

This leaves me an alternative of hanging the clothes on the two clothes airers, throughout the apartment. This was a suitable alternative back in the day but now that Ethan is beginning to crawl, the task becomes logistically challenging. There are two prominent clothes-drying ‘hot-spots’ (literally!) in our apartment; one is the north facing second bedroom and the other is the lounge area, where I have the column heater on at regular intervals.

The lounge airer taking advantage of prime positioning near the column heater.

The second bedroom has been overtaken by Ethan’s playpen but I shouldn’t rule it out; I have heard of plenty of mums that use play-pens for the sole purpose of keeping children out, as much as keeping them in, and I could consider putting the clothes airer inside its four walls. The lounge room does get cluttered with an airer however the bigger challenge is keeping Ethan away from the oodles of dangling temptations: socks, jumper sleeves and trouser legs, to name a few. I am able to run reasonable interference for now and can still move faster than Ethan. But it is only a matter of time before this option is ruled out for safety reasons…

Ethan's play zone amongst the washing.

This brings me to my final option, which is the clothes dryer in the kitchen. Brilliant, efficient and behind a gated doorway, if not for the soaring electricity price threat in Australia, I would not even bother with the fiddly clothes airers and go straight for a guaranteed dry result. I can also convince myself that the column heater isn’t needed with the heat that the dryer is generating, thus I am actually saving electricity by using it.

Yay for the dryer! My valentine's Day present in 2010.

With the clothes now damp-free and maintaining a softness that only a dryer can achieve, I can put my feet up and ponder whether life would be easier in a suburban home with a hills hoist out the back. And then I recall the story of my sister who decided to use our childhood clothesline as a swinging apparatus when she was much younger, only to get stuck and left to rotate a little longer than planned….seems drying challenges aren’t restricted to apartment dwellers after all.

The Witching Hour

Witching hour begins...

I will face the witching hour alone this evening.

For the uninitiated, witching hour can be loosely defined as a period of time - sadly, not limited to an hour - during which your precious bundle is, well, less than precious and more of a challenge (or witch?!). It was one of the first 'baby' phenomenon that Cam and I were introduced to shortly after arriving home with our shiny new bub. On day 2, Ethan didn’t take kindly to us trying to put him down for the evening and screamed for three hours straight. A tired Cam mentioned this to a mate the following day. “Ah”, said the wise father of four. “Sounds like the witching hour”.

Interestingly, it seems recognized in professional circles too (phew! Not another one of those parenting urban legends). I spent a week at Karitane for their residential stay program when Ethan was a mere bub of 6 weeks. They assisted me in settling Ethan into a routine and as part of this, conceded that between 4-6.30pm each day, even though due for a well-needed nap, Ethan would not likely go down in his cot (they were right!).

Four months later and our witching hour time period remains roughly the same, stretching from whenever Ethan wakes from his afternoon nap, until he goes down for bedtime (according to all the baby books, this should be 7pm on the nose). FYI – Ethan’s witching hour on Tuesday began at 12.15 pm… :-I

In my professional ‘mum’ opinion, I surmise witching hour is due to end of day fatigue; Ethan is all tuckered out from his bouncer, bumbo, mirror time and sleep itself and the result is cranky. UNLESS I can stay one step ahead of him and keep him entertained. Review blog on ‘Ideas for Amusing an Indoors Baby’ and adjust accordingly for the toughest two – three hours of the day. Challenge accepted!

We begin with some 'cot-play' time...big smiles

One of the ‘tricks of the trade’ so to speak is to take the grouchy bub out for a long pram walk, in the hopes of a late nap or just some time to 'reflect’. With the end of daylights savings and recent cold snap in Sydney, this is no longer a realistic option. Mind you, I have spotted many a fellow Eastern Suburbs parent out pushing a bub, clad head to toe in winter woolies, late in the afternoon. Where was I when spotting them, you ask? Well, uh... (insert diversion tactic here). Back to the blog!

Let's swap a pram walk for some quality play-pen fun!

Ethan’s bedtime routine commences at 6 pm sharp and involves a bath, feed, some Macca Pacca and Upsy daisy and then, all tracking well, bed at 7 pm. It is just after 5 at the moment, so only an hour to go! Ethan is presently enjoying ‘Grandpa in my pocket’ which follows playschool on ABC4kids. And what’s that I hear? ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’ has just started? Good-o!

Usually by the time these programs have finished, Cam has returned home from work and can step in with fresh inspiration for amusement. One such gem was the invention of a game called cars. The ingenuity lies in the simplicity of the game: to play cars, take Ethan to the balcony window, look through the window out onto street and state the colours of all the cars driving past. In Cam’s absence however, I shan’t attempt this one as I do see it as special father-son time.

"Mummy, cars would have been much more fun than this..."

Instead, this is a perfect opportunity to check and see who might be on skype. Nana Burgess is quite a reliable contact and and Ethan is happy to bounce in front of the iMac screen for 15 mins, talking to her.

As bath time draws closer, I may also attempt the baby massage that I learnt several weeks ago. For the most part, Ethan giggles his way through my relaxing massage which I take as a sign of enjoyment - not bemusement - of my technique.

I tend to follow massages with pants off time (NB: for Ethan only). For some reason, being pants free seems to give Ethan a second wind (pardon the pun) and he is happy to roll around for another 15 mins, so long as I am happy to take the risk.

Hopefully these activities see us through to 6pm but if not, I apply some of the ideas from the previously mentioned blog. Of course, it is important to note that by this time, Ethan is extremely fatigued, cranky and possibly bored with mummy’s attempts to intrigue, so I find that the time honoured tradition of walking the apartment works a treat, as do some well chosen nursery rhymes.

Not.. happy.. Jan...

And the conclusion of this entry brings me to 5.30 pm. With half an hour til the bedtime routine commences, I’d like to take this opportunity to toast those parents that face witching hour solo on a regular basis and express my gratitude for Cam's timely arrival home each evening.

And then I shall see who is on skype.

Ready for bed - made it!!